Hello! Can anyone help me? A very good friend of mine has an autistic son. Hes about 4 years old. I have only been around him a couple of times because the father is divorced and he gets his son a week at a time every other week! From what I hear thats bad because autistic kids like routine! I noticed that he will ask for mac and cheese and when he gets it he will take a few bites but then he doesn't want it. When you take it away, he wants it. nd it just keeps going back and forth like that. He also will scream out hey! And everyone will look at him and when everyone looks away he will do it again. Is this an attention getter? He also seems to have ALOT of energy. I brought my dog over to the house to see them and he just ran back and forth in front of the dog. His father asked him to stop because he was scaring the dog. He just kept doing it. He doesn't ever do what he is told. Also, every time he goes to his grandparents house, he locks himself in their bedroom. Theyve had to crawl in the window to get in there. There is also an issue with potty training! He still isn't. Is this normal for an autistic child and what can you do to work on some of those things? Can you put an autistic child in time out? So, how do you cool it off?
I didn't mean that you should say no all the time. I just meant that you can't expect that telling him something once will fix the behavior problem.
If you say no all the time, the atmosphere gets very negative and the word no starts to lose its power. It's better to approach the child and speak directly to him, explaining in calm, simple language what's expected, what the rule is, etc. then re-direct his attention to something else. Remember, autistic kids have a hard time catching what we're saying unless we establish contact first, so if you shout out "Don't chase the dog" the child might only hear "chase." Go up to him, make sure he's listening, then say something like "Be calm around the dog. Running scares him. Let's let the dog rest while we go on the swings."
It's better to say yes and be super-duper enthusiastic when the child says or does something good, or shows improvement.
Good luck.
He left a candy wrapper on the floor and he threw it away when his dad said to and I praised him! I felt kind of stupid though. I know what you mean though. You see these videos of people with kids throwing tantrum and the parent is just there struggleing with the kids taking the tantrum. I don't think I could handle that!!!! Your better than I chicka!If you search for the word "meltdowns" on this forum, you should find more plenty of examples and tips.
ok.....If you're interested in the answers to all these questions, cruise around this board. There are pages and pages of topics on each of the things you're interested in learning about. What you've observed is "normal" autism. And, yes, still being in diapers at age 4 is not at all unusual. In fact, it's rare for a child on the autism spectrum to be trained before 4. Usually potty training starts at about that time. Most are out of diapers by kindergarten, but not all.
My guess is that you are the father's girlfriend. He will always have autism in his life and if you stay with him, so will you. Autistic children are VERY different that typical kids or kids with other disabilities. They must be managed very differently (and TAKE THE LOCKS OFF THE DOORS!). The father and anyone else who is regularly in this boy's life need to learn the techniques used with an autistic child. Postive reinforcement is key. Punishment exacerbates problems. Using the spoken work is weak, using pictures or the written word is powerful.
Please join the discussions here and read all the previous posts that are on topics that are pertinent to you. If you plan on being in this little boy's life, you have quite a journey ahead of you.
Thank you! Its my best friends brother. I have a severly handicapped brother so I want to know how to deal with him. Do things that are positive for him. He apparently doesn't have much structure in his life. I did try and look at some of the other discussions but there are so many!!! I don't think maybe his family knows how to deal with him!Time-outs can be used with autistic children, in that you remove them from a situation that overwhelms them and causes them to behave the way they do, in order to help them calm down, not punish them. Rewards work much better with autistic kids, although not every child is developmentally ready to understand and respond appropriately to "first do this, then you get the reward."
Controlling the child's behavior through punishment is much less effective than controlling it by making changes to his environment. For example, don't bring the dog over, or lock the bedroom door so he can't go in there.
Autistic children are developmentally delayed, so it might help to think of him as a 1 year old in a 4 year old's body. You don't expect a 1 year old to have the impulse control to stop doing what they want to do just because Dad said no. With a 1 year old, you have to keep saying no, use child-proofing and be prepared to physically intervene until they've come further along in their development.
The boy you describe might be saying Hey to get attention, but he may also be trying to interact with you. He just doesn't have the language and social skills to start a conversation the way you expect from a big kid.
The mac and cheese thing could be that he's not used to that particular brand, or it could be general trouble handling the setting. My child, though hungry, wouldn't eat his food at pre-school because he needed more peace at his meals. Having other people around the table is still not easy for him, even if it's just family.
Each autistic child is an individual, and you'll come a long way paying close attention and getting to know him and his reaction patterns. But it will help a great deal if you learn more about autism. Here's an easy-to-read book that's a great place to start. "Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew" by Ellen Notbohm. Here's a link to the article that inspired the book:
http://www.ellennotbohm.com/ten_things_article.html
Good luck. I applaud your interest in helping this boy and the other adults in his life. The world could use more people like you.
Are you suppose to keep telling him no? They say no to bad behavior but he just keeps doing it and they just ignore it. Is that the right way to do it?Hi Missymae,
Welcome to the forum. I am a newbie myself. My son is 5. He has high energy too. He used to be very restless. What helped was that we taught him to play. Engaged and involved him in play and activites with his older siblings so much that now he wants to do what they are doing. He will sit and watch the same TV shows they watch and so on. Through ABA we have taught him to do tasks and attend. I have him do things with me such as stack dishes, put away cuttlery clean tables etc. The ability to use the computer and do things educational and entertaining have also helped tremendously.
As for potty trainning that can be a long process. I could not believe it when it finally happened for us after age 4. They need to continue working on it. But him potty training videos, reward him and make a big deal about being happy and applauding him when he gets it right.
There are developmental delay issues involved in autism. So he would not do everything his typical peers do at the same age. However with patience love training he will get there. You just have to understand autism involves all these you are seeing. I am glad the mom has someone like you who even bothered to seek out information in her life. It's a rough road for all involved understanding of friends and family which is rare makes it a bit less lonely.
There are lots of other interventions available medical,biomedical as well as behavioral. You just have to support the parents in whatever they choose to do.
concernedpa.